It’s ok to not be ok


From “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse”,
by Charlie Mackesy.

In scrolling through FB this morning, I came across a post by a fellow physician mama, in which she acknowledged she is not ok. She is struggling. And she’s sitting in the all the feelings, allowing them to wash over her, the bad, the hurt, the disgust, the anger, the hopelessness.

Allowing, admitting & acknowledging that she’s not ok. And at the same time, that she realizes she has control over her thoughts, & that some days it’s ok to just sit in those thoughts that may not best serve – but that are part of us too.

That feelings are just that: feelings. And that those feelings do not determine your self worth.

For as she states: “You are good and worthy and valuable and lovable—every which way, and every day.”

It’s ok to not be ok, & to acknowledge & feel all the feels.

Frankly, I think we’re all struggling right now.

Trying to wrap our heads around how & why we all try so hard, trust each other, science, our colleagues, go the extra mile, FIND & CREATE SOLUTIONS – safe, effective vaccines, masks to help protect – yet it’s still not enough for some – the conspiracy theorists, the non-believers, the disinformation spreaders.

To think where we might be right now if past leadership had instilled hope & trust, rather than blatant denial & division.

Yet, what’s happened, happened.

So we move forward. We regroup. We stick together. We work together. We press on, continue advocating, spreading awareness, & having conversations, one starfish at a time.

We cry. We rant. We’re exhausted.

Sometimes we just want to give up.

Yet we know in our hearts that the light continues to shine – dimly at times, but has yet to go out.

Because we have each other. We’re part of the same tribe.

We are badass women physicians that get it.

We understand each other.

The sacrifice, the joy, the struggle, the accomplishments, the loss, the wins.

Together we are powerful.

We are a force. We are a force for change.

We have each other. We have each other’s backs.

We believe. And that is why we will prevail, together, by lifting, listening, holding space, crying, encouraging, & creating a world in which we can not only survive, but thrive.

So it’s ok to not be ok, because we have each other.

We’ve got you now, & when we’re in need, my bet is that you’ll have us too. ❤️

One starfish at a time.
Photo by Jill Keagy, one of my forever friends.

COVID-19 Vaccine FDA Approval


If you’re 16y/o & older & have yet to be vaccinated – NOW IS THE TIME‼️

Today, August 23, 2021, the FDA announced full approval of the Pfizer BioNtech COVID-19 vaccine for ages 16y/o & older.

The Pfizer BioNtech COVID-19 vaccine remains authorized for emergency use (EUA) for ages 12-15y/o’s, and for the administration of a third dose in certain immunocompromised individuals.

Protect yourself, your neighbors, CHILDREN, & help STOP the SPREAD of #COVID19‼️

🌟To schedule a COVID19 vaccine appointment visit:

Full FDA announcement:

Additionally, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) and the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine (SMFM), the two leading organizations represetning speciaists in obstetric care, recommend that all pregnant individuals be vaccinated against COVID-19.

ACOG, SMFM recommend COVID-19 vaccination for pregnant individuals.

Additional information re: COVID-19, vaccines, wearing masks, and recommendations for the upcoming 2021-2022 school year:

CDC recommends universal indoor masking for all teachers, staff, students, and visitors to K-12 schools, regardless of vaccination status. Children should return to full-time in-person learning in the fall with layered prevention strategies in place.

MDH Recommendations for the 2021-2022 School Year.

CHOP Vaccine Education Center

Getting Your Child Ready for the COVID-19 Vaccine

Safe Schools During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Children and COVID-19 Vaccination Trends



Let’s help #StopTheSpread together!!

#VaccinesWork #VaccinesSaveLives #Vaccinate✌️ #WearAMask😷 #HelpUsHelpYou #ProtectKids #GetVaccinated #TrustScience #ThisIsOurShot #VacunateYa

NOW IS THE TIME. The Rise of Delta.

As of 7/30/21, from CDC internal data:


If you’ve yet to get vaccinated – NOW IS THE TIME!

Over the past week #COVID19 infection rates & hospitalizations are increasing, in fact they’re surging!

Yes. Surging!

It’s happening again.

This #Deltavariant is MORE INFECTIOUS than influenza, the common cold, than the initial strains of COVID-19, SARS, MERS, Ebola.

And DELTA is AS transmissible as the MOST CONTAGIOUS viruses that exist – chicken pox, measles…

For every ONE person infected…Delta infects 6, 7, 8 others.

People are DYING.



More terrifying is that #Vaccinated individuals – including multiple physicians that I know personally – are now contracting COVID19 from COMMUNITY SPREAD.

From their non-vaccine eligible children.

The #COVID19vaccine HELPS PREVENT severe illness, hospitalization, & death, but even if you’re vaccinated, you can still contract & SPREAD the virus.

8 months ago we physicians, & most healthcare workers, breathed a sigh of relief; we were finally able to be vaccinated & receive some protection against this deadly virus.

Delta is now causing infections in VACCINATED individuals – in US – from COMMUNITY SPREAD.

Despite taking all precautions, continuing to mask at work while caring for patients, staying home, & diligently trying our best to prevent contracting/spreading SARS-CoV-2 to our families over the past 16+ months, we are now contracting COVID19 from those unvaccinated/ineligible to receive vaccine – OUR CHILDREN.

Our children, whom for the past 16 months we kept home from school, their friends, their sports & other loved activities.

To keep them safe.

From disease.

From disability.

From hospitalization.

From death.

Our children who are finally set to go back to in person school, socialize, & rediscover friendships, activities, hobbies, team sports, community adventures.

Our CHILDREN who are now being HOSPITALIZED & are DYING because of the selfishness of others.

This is unacceptable.



It’s understandable to have questions & concerns re: vaccines. I ask that you please discuss with trusted physicians & scientists. It is our job, our duty, & we took an oath to do no harm, to protect, to heal, & we want to KEEP YOU SAFE & END this pandemic.

There is still unknown, & we’re constantly learning.

What we do know:


😷 MASKS WORK. And it’s time for EVERYONE to #MaskUp to prevent spreading illness to others.

💪 The BENEFITS of getting vaccinated FAR OUTWEIGH the RISKS.

  • Over 4.1 Billion dosages of COVID19 Vaccine have been given worldwide. 🌍
  • 80% of currently circulating virus is Delta.
  • 99.5% deaths are UNVACCINATED.
  • 97% hospitalized are UNVACCINATED.
  • The long term effects of COVID19 DISEASE are real, serious, & can be debilitating.

We are learning every day and do not have all of the answers. We do know:

  • The SARs-CoV-2 spike protein does NOT cause issues with fertility.
  • The risk of myocarditis from the mRNA vaccine is 1 in 20,000, & illness is short-lived & without long term consequences.
  • Infection with SARS-CoV-2 more frequently causes myocarditis, either during primary infection (1 in 40) or later if individuals develop multisystem inflammatory syndrome (MIS-C or MIS-A): 50-70% develop myocarditis.

The vaccine is ALWAYS the safer choice.

I’m full of angst at these rising numbers of cases of infection, hospitalizations, & deaths.

We were supposed to be past these occurrences.

We developed & have a VACCINE that is SAFE and EFFECTIVE at preventing severe DISEASE & DEATH.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, if you’ve been waiting or have yet to be vaccinated, PLEASE do so ASAP.


Please get vaccinated, wear a mask, protect children, & those immunocompromised & medically unable to be vaccinated.

Please help us help you.





To schedule a vaccine appt:

Vaccine Spotter – Find COVID-19 vaccine locations near you

Resources, Links, Recent News Articles:

COVID-19 Data in Motion – Johns Hopkins Coronavirus Resource Center

Effectiveness of Covid-19 Vaccines against the B.1.617.2 (Delta) Variant | NEJM

How mRNA Vacvines Work

Vaccine Update & Q+A LIVE w/Dr. Paul Offit

Return to School During COVID-19

“We have two key weapons in fighting this virus,” One Medical Regional Medical Director Dr. @NatashaBhuyan says. “One is masks, the other is vaccines.” Full interview.

Dr. Mark Kline Physician-in-Chief at Children’s Hospital New Orleans: “This delta variant is every infectious disease specialist’s worst nightmare.. There was a myth.. that children were somehow immune… It has become very clear that children are heavily impacted”

Children’s Mercy reaches capacity due to increase in kids with COVID-19, infectious diseases | Coronavirus |

At Texas Children’s, Some Kids With COVID Need Ventilators | Houston Press

What I Should Know About Myocarditis and Teens

This Must Stop.

Physician suicide, 7/22/21

“I’m very sad to share the loss of beloved Family Medicine Physician, Radhika Lal Snyder. Radhika died by suicide on July 4th and her loss is a profound shock to all who know and love her. She died 3 days before she was scheduled to go back to work from maternity leave.

For those who knew her, or those who want to know more, here is her memorial website: .

Rest In Peace, sweet friend.” ~ Dr. Heather Hamernick (shared with permission).

Radhika Lal Snyder, MD
March 5th, 1982 – July 4th, 2021

My heart is breaking again reading this tribute. What an absolutely amazing woman, physician, mother, sister, friend. Reading through comments, I’ve learned Radhika was a much loved bright light that was able to put anyone in her presence at ease.

I’m devastated at the loss of 2 physician mamas from our community this season.


No more.

We MUST come together & support one another, notice changes in behaviors, & be on the look out for those hurting.

Running late.



Increased alcohol/substance use.

Lack of sleep or too much.

Missed meetings.

Unfinished charts.

Short tempers.

Emotional outbursts.

More reserved. Less interactive.

Or more exuberant & taking risks.

Post partum.

Increased anxiety.

Changes in personality.

Any disruption, noticeable change – even the slightest.

As physicians we strive for perfection & have a difficult time asking for any help – & rarely, if ever, do we stop, realize, & admit to ourselves we’re human too. And we too need to be cared for, & allow others to care for US & willingly accept needed help.

We’re overachievers & good at taking on challenges, problem solving, & finding ways to make things work.

Constantly being asked to do more with less, & finding solutions to meet often seemingly unattainable goals.

Until we can’t.

Until the facade cracks & life becomes too much to bear.

And we succumb to the overwhelm, exhaustion, pain, & guilt.

A moment.

A chance to escape.

And our primitive brain takes over to end the pain.

No more.

Physician suicide must stop.

Please connect with your colleagues.

Watch out for each other.

Take a moment every single day to check in with one another.

Be there.

Be open. Watchful. On the look out.

Ask – really ask & take the time to listen & HEAR the the answer.

Be on the lookout for any deviance in behavior. Heed any clue.

We must work together & save each other.

Persistently & relentlessly activate & advocate for change.

Our house is broken & we’re losing members of our tribe.

Too many lives taken abruptly.


It’s up to each & every one of us to support each other, lift up, connect, & work together to heal our house & protect our physician family.

Lives are at stake.

We need each other, now more than ever.

RIP Dr. Radhika Lal Snyder.

RIP Dr. Gretchen Butler.

RIP Dr. Lorna Breen.

RIP Dr. Matthew Gall.

Your light will live on in all of us, always. ❤️

Radhika Lal Snyder, MD
March 5th, 1982 – July 4th, 2021
Poem by physician writer Dr. Arlanna Moshfeghi, Original post:
Founded by psychiatrist Dr. Mona Syeda Masood, DO., in March 2020 amidst the COVID19 pandemic.
A quote from Dr. Michelle Chestovich’s podcast:
Re-Mind Yourself, Episode 11, Exhaustion.:

Links & Resources:

Suicide Prevention Awareness Month | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation | Dedicated to Protecting the Well-Being of Physicians and Health Care Professionals

Physician Suicide Awareness: Dr. Matthew Gall

Mental health and Covid-19: How the US health care system fails doctors – Vox

Please reach out, call, text.
It’s ok to not be ok. We’re all human. Support & help are available. #StopTheStigma #MentalHealth ##YouAreNotAlone

Doctor revived after suicide tells all

Physician suicide: We need safe spaces to talk about it

Physician Mental Health Should Be Protected

Paddle boarding on Lake Michigan, July 28, 2015.

COVID19 Mental Health Resources for HCW

Clinician Resilience and Well-Being – National Academy of Medicine

Project RESPITE: Responsive Emotional Support to Interrupt Traumatic Experiences for First Responders and Healthcare Professionals (and their families)

Poignant piece by Bozorgmehr Hosseinpour, from November 2020.

Some say they see a hero in this picture.

I see a human silently screaming, doing their best while drowning as others laugh, play, and splash around them.

Art Credit: Bozorgmehr Hosseinpour

It’s time we Heal the Healers.

This. Must. Stop.

A Thread


Interesting thought.

Yesterday, as I left the office after arriving almost 12 hours earlier, I thought to myself, “It’s Friday night. Huh. I think I’ve forgotten how to live, like I did pre-COVID19, & pre-Medicine.”

The thought resurfaced as I drove past people dining outside on a packed patio. Eating, drinking, laughing. The sky turning dark & the lights hanging above twinkling.

It’s interesting to imagine having an hour break during the day to sit & each lunch.

Arriving home in time to eat dinner with the family.

Or meet up with friends.

Or to actually attend kid’s sporting events, plays, school events.

Being able to join up at an impromptu outing/event without being on call.

Or able to say yes to that invitation to a conference or weekend trip without having to trade work days, cover shifts, or request time off months months in advance.

Being a physician is a choice, & medicine is more than job, it’s a calling.

A lifestyle.

A part of ones identity.

Once you become a physician, you’re responsible for other’s lives, always.

It’s an oath we take.

A privilege earned.

An honor.

And a sacrifice.

We are called to this life, & we choose it because we care, we help, we heal.

My wish would be that others realize all we do, & what we’ve chosen to give up, miss, & forgo, so as to be the best possible healers.

We do it for you.

Our patients. ❤️


#MedTwitter #Physicians #Healers #APhysiciansLife #OurChoice #OurOath #OurTraining #SoMeDocs #ThisIsMedicine

Love & Loss


Knowing when it’s time to let go of a life well lived is perhaps the most difficult part of being a pet owner.

Our pets become family. They bring us joy, hope, love & light, and fill our days with purpose.

The longing looks, the wagging tails, the perked up ears, engage, connect, & understand. Our furry family members are empathetic, compassionate souls, & have a way of knowing exactly what we need.

Years ago, while aimlessly wandering through a gift store browsing, a book with a black & white dog on the cover caught my eye. I picked it up & was introduced to Momo. A border collie with big beautiful brown eyes & an inquisitive engaging personality that leapt off the page! Filled with anticipation, I opened the book to find exquisite photographs of beautiful scenes with Momo hiding somewhere on every page. I was hooked & instantly fell in love with this dog.

Over the years I’ve followed Momo & his owner, photographer/author Andrew Knapp, on social media.

Today, on Instagram, this post popped up on my feed:

which prompted my writing this entry.

I have never met this dog in person, pet him, rubbed his belly, snuggled his soft velvety ears, yet I feel as if I know him, & I love him.

Thank you Andrew, for sharing your beloved Momo with us all. Thank you for documenting his life with your amazing photographs, & publishing your adventures & travels for all to enjoy. Momo may be physically gone, but his spirit, playful demeanor, & joyful energy will live on thanks to you, & your willingness to share your incredible talents with us.

May sweet Momo enjoy his forever life over the rainbow bridge, & may you & Boo continue to have future fun-filled adventures together.

I’m certain Momo will be with you in spirit & cheering you on from above, always. ❤️

My wish for all is to know & experience a similar connection of friendship & unconditional love as that between Andrew & Momo. If everyone could emulate such a relationship, imagine how wonderful our world might be. ❤️


Link to Andrew Knapp’s Instagram post today, 7/17/21:

RIP sweet Momo. ❤️🌈



Happiness is finding a heart shaped rock while wading in the cool water of the Clark Fork River, MT.

What makes you happy?

Is a question asked in a recent Facebook post.

My Answer:

I love the water & the beach. And swimming. And sunshine. And white sand. And flowers. And sunsets.

Floating on my back and looking up at the blue sky & finding animals or other scenes/objects in the fluffy white clouds.

I love smiles & baby giggles.

I love spending time with my kids – both human & furry.

And getting enough sleep, eating well, & exercising so that my joints are less inflamed & my arthritis is better controlled.

And writing.

And advocating.

And creating.

And connecting.

And having time to sit & let my mind run free. ❤️

What makes you happy?

Birthday boy Grover. Missoula, MT, 7/5/21.

Change Makers

On June 5, 2021, I had the opportunity to attend an absolutely incredibly inspirational & knowledge-filled session with Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor!

As Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor zoomed with us, 60+ women physicians participating in Dr. Sunny Smith’s Empowering Women Physicians program, she challenged us to embrace our uniqueness, our individualities, our passions, our experiences, our stories, our knowledge & our power, to collectively collaborate, engage, & create the changes needed in the current healthcare system.

I firmly believe that we, as woman physicians, can & will change Medicine into a more sustainable, inclusive, honored & noble learned profession – as it once was but new & improved!

We’ll do so by connecting, educating, sharing, & collaborating. Our knowledge is power & we are badass empowered women physicians!

Working together we will activate, advocate, & unite to bring back physician autonomy & the doctor:patient relationship, putting our patients first – over middlemen profits – putting “scrubs over suits” & reclaiming our learned profession from for-profit money hungry healthcare: vertically integrated mega-monopolies!

Several attendees asked for names of grassroots physician groups that are working to rebuild our medical system in a way that will put physicians back in control (instead of healthcare administrators, insurance companies, PBMs, GPOs, non-physicians, etc) & to do so ethically & in a way that is best for all patients & for us as practicing physicians.

Connecting physicians & patients – together – we can knock down & break apart the ever growing vertically integrated monopolies by following the money & exposing “where all the money goes”. Transparency is key!

As physicians we earned & own our knowledge, & knowledge is power.


We are intelligent, capable, resilient individuals. We are voracious learners, overachievers, & accomplished leaders. We are part of the 7% of applicants that were accepted into, matriculated, & graduated from one of the only 191 accredited medical schools in the US.


It’s time we leverage our degrees, our know how, our skills, our creativity, our determination, & empower every single physician to realize their value & their worth.

To start, please watch this inspirational talk by Dr. Ellen McKnight which is part of the For Physicians By Physicians YouTube channel.

Then explore grassroots physician groups that have formed over the past few years, of which I’ve been a part, which continue to grow, & which I recommend:

On Monday, 6/7/21, I virtually attended an amazing FREE conference entitled Demystifying Healthcare Costs and listened to incredible patient & physician advocates, leaning in & discussing ways to create & implement needed change in healthcare. I listened to stories & learned how, what, & why these individuals came together, what they created: a patient care focused system that directly connects patients & physicians, lowering costs & improving outcomes, & how they did so: by removing middlemen profiteers/barriers to care – essentially streamlining an affordable sustainable fix for both patients & physicians alike.

Once available, I’ll link the replays. For now check out:

Next, read the article I wrote in September 2019, To extinguish burnout, bring back physician autonomy, which delineates how medicine has changed, the importance of regaining physician autonomy, & was published in KevinMD & shared over 7,000 times! I recently learned it’s been shared on/in multiple other sites/journals – a great example of how writing ones thoughts & ideas can reach a wide audience!

Through connecting with each other, sharing our platforms, thoughts, ideas, empowering & lending each other support, we create ripples.

Ripples become waves.

Waves combine, expand, grow, & enlarge into tsunamis.

Let’s create a Tsunami of needed change!

We, as badass women physicians, have the power, strength, moxie, & will to recreate our beloved house of medicine!

Together we are powerful.

Empowered we are unstoppable.

Let’s be the needed change.


Let’s embrace & fuel this rebellion!

Together we can & will bring back medicine‼️💪❤️👊

#EmpoweredWomenEmpowerWomen #ChangeMakers #KnowledgeIsPower #RippleEffect #WeGotThis #Resist #Rebel #CreateChange #OwnYourCredentials #LeverageYourDegree #OwnYourData #MindsetShift #Transparency #PhysicianAutonomy #WomenInMedicine #TogetherWeCAN




May we learn from the past & create a future filled with kindness, justice, inclusivity, & awareness.

May we treat each other with respect, embrace, & honor our differences, & stand together for #Justice.

#TogetherWeCAN #BeTheChange #BlackLivesMatter #BeAnAlly

#BlackLivesMatter #BeAnAlly
#MLK, words to live by. ✊🏾❤️
#BeTheChange 💜✊🏾

National Physicians Week, March 25-31

National Physicians Week 2021

Happy National Physicians Week 2021‼️
To all of the AMAZING PHYSICIANS out there – this week was created to CELEBRATE YOU‼️🎉 🙌 🥂
We took an oath to #DoNoHarm.
We put our #PatientsFirstAlways.
We BELIEVE in SCIENCE & Evidence Based Medicine.
We BELIEVE #VaccinesWork & #VaccinesSaveLives.
We trust in the #COVID19vaccine & BELIEVE #ThisIsOurShot to END this pandemic!
We SHOW UP, time & time & time again.
We are Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, Sons, Daughters, Grandparents, Friends…
We are PATIENTS too.
Cheers to ALL PHYSICIANS for all you do, each & every day!
For showing up.
For taking call.
For sleeping in the hospital & waking instantly to jump into action as needed…
…for a delivery, a trauma, a code, for each & every patient.
May we continue to support each other, to lift, to help, to love, care, & heal, & be there for one another, always.
Please know:

NationalPhysiciansWeek2021 #PWT #PhysiciansWorkingTogether #Empower #Lift #Rise #MakeChange #BeTheChange #BeKind #FindJoy #ScrubsOverSuits #TogetherWeCAN #Nof1 #Medicine
#ThisIsOurShot #COVID19vaccine #NationalPhysiciansWeek2021 #PWT